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I guess one might say that the last couple of weeks of mine have been hectic with regards to my dating life but it was worth it. On the earth of online dating. Experience Christian Counseling that works. Licensed therapists providing faith-based Online Therapy and In-person. Marriage, Sex Therapy.
Christian Family Counseling - Our Most Important Ministry
Christian family counseling often starts with a simple wakeup call. For me, it was when I slipped into my son's room late one evening as I arrived home from work so that I could give him a goodnight snuggle and a kiss only to find him wide awake hunkered down under the covers.
'Hey Dad, it's Wednesday!' my 12 year old said. 'Tonight was our date night, Dad! You forgot!'
Somewhere between the deadlines, the donors and the to-do lists, I'd forgotten the most important responsibility God had entrusted to me, that of my family. It had been weeks since my wife and I had a date together, just the two of us - without our work worlds on the agenda - and I knew things needed to change and change fast. Instead of focusing on work, I needed to focus on my family and let them know they were just as important as my work.
Christian Family Counseling - A Story that Repeats Itself
Why do many families need Christian family counseling? Well, we set out to meet our work goals and somehow in the midst of our work, we forget that waiting at home is that young boy hoping to play catch, that teenage girl who needs to talk about boys, or that spouse that needs to be treated with all the attention we used to give her when we were dating.
Why does it happen? How does it happen? How can you prevent it from happening to you? And why do we feel like we need to work so long and hard?
Recently, I met with a ministry leader for coffee. In between sips of Starbuck's, the truth about his family came out -- as it has so many times before with other ministry leaders. The leader I was meeting with told me the real story of where things were with his ministry. You see, the ministry was doing wonderfully well, it was his family that was suffering, and so much so that he ended up stepping aside temporarily to focus on them until things turned around. I was glad he had decided to do this, but surprised that I'd seen another scenario where ministry had edged out a leader's family.
Nobel Prize winning Harvard biologist Dr. George Wald has some thoughts: 'What one really needs is not the Nobel laureate but love. How do you think one gets to be a Nobel laureate? Wanting love, that's how. Wanting it so bad one works all the time and ends up a Nobel laureate. It's a consolation prize. What matters is love.'
Let me ask you this, if we were sitting at that Starbucks near your house and talking over our day, could I ask you a pretty personal question? What's the Nobel Prize you're striving for? Is it possible that the prize you're striving for has edged out your precious family or that spouse you were madly in love with during your courtship days? They need some of your best time, not just your leftover time.
Well, before the Starbucks gets cold and we've both gotta run, if it's time for a bit of a re-balancing of ministry and family, here are some ideas to jump start your thinking and help you get back on track. Got a pen? Jot 'em down on your napkin.
Christian Family Counseling - Craft a Family Mission Statement
When it comes to Christian family counseling, it's just as important to be intentional as a family as it is to do so where you work. We wanted our family to be on the same page as to why we were here on earth and what principles would govern our time together. We wanted a grid for decision-making and conflict to pass through. Need a head start? Here's ours:
Our family is going through life's journey together, growing roots in Christ and wings for our mission, becoming equipped to make a difference in our world by learning to live like Jesus, for Jesus and in Jesus.
We've designed other elements of this mission statement into the shape of a house with walls of laughter, doors of prayer, and windows of other important character qualities.
Dating Relationship Counseling
What is your response?
In honor of my brother Richard's engagement to his beautiful fiancé Nicole, I'm sharing 34 Christian questions every couple should ask themselves before they get married.
Before Marc and I started counseling, he wrote up with a list of 34 Christian premarital questions. You read that right. He w-r-o-t-e these questions because he is that brilliant. Mostly because we had a lot of questions. The questions we were finding in most premarital counseling books, seminars, and such weren't what he was looking for.
Marc came up with these questions after studying the writings of Count Zinzendorf (1700-1760). What I love most about them is how they continually point back to Scripture, and revisiting these questions is making me fall in love with Marc all over again. I can't believe we will celebrate 5 years this October!!
There are certain questions every couple should ask before marriage. Please use these 34 Christian premarital questions to strengthen your relationship, whether you are dating, engaged, or married:
1. Matchmaking on near morrisville. What does this marriage cost you? What do you have to give up? How do you feel about giving that up?
2. How do you define time well spent? What feels like a waste of time to you?
3. Do your partner's needs always come first? (This might be a good or bad thing)
4. What will sustain you when your partner screws up? Does your theology matter in dealing with conflict?
5. Do you feel your partner is committed to you? How? Do you know your partner is committed to you? How important is it to know they are committed to you? How does this line up with feeling God is committed to you?
6. What things hinder your relationship right now, or in the past?
7. What do you want out of marriage?
8. Do you believe your communion with one another directly affects the health of your marriage? What is your communion with Christ like? What are you doing daily to deepen it?
9. What has been the hardest season of suffering you've walked through? How has that shaped you?
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10. Does it matter what others think of your marriage?
11. Do you see your spouse as a separate entity? Why? Is that Biblical? How does it affect your marriage?
12. What does it mean to put your partner's needs above your own?
13. Why has God provided you with a partner? What ministry do you see him working through in your relationship?
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14. Does it matter to you how marriage relates to Christ and His Bride?
15. What does it mean to become one flesh? How is this influencing you? Are you still independent? Have you had to give up anything? Does a husband and wife with parallel yet independent ministries matter? What does submission mean?
16. Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and that he is risen and reigning over this world and your life?
17. What things will most taint your sex life?
18. Is there anything you can't discuss with your partner? Do you think it's okay to have secrets in a marriage? E dating services in yonkers.
19. Looking at the face of two people in love, what tells you they are in love?
20. What does being married to Christ entail for you? In what ways are you falling short of this? How do you expect your spouse to help you in this? What if they don't or can't?
21. Do you think it is possible to progress in your relationship with Christ while your mate does not? Colton city dating sites.
22. Does a successful marriage or satisfying marriage top your list of desires in your marriage? What do you want your marriage to ultimately be?
Christian Dating Counseling
23. Do you believe your spouse's salvation depends on you? Define the Christian lifestyle you want your spouse to see in you.
24. What do you believe sex is intended to teach us in marriage?
25. What does it mean for the husband to be the head of the house?
26. How does being able to reconcile in a marriage affect ministry?
27. What distracts you from cleaving to your spouse?
28. How are you investing in the life of your partner?
29. How does Christian community affect marriage? What if it is wishy-washy, bland and fake? What if it is real? Can you distinguish between the two? Are you willing to change to accommodate in this area?
30. Can you say your mate sees the God of eternity in you? How so?
31. Is 'kinky' (inappropriate or impure) sex in marriage permissible? Why or why not?
32. What if you feel called to something but your partner does not?
33. What do you think will bring the greatest joy to your marriage?
34. Does compatibility matter? What does it mean to be compatible? Is your response in line with Scripture?
Marc and I purposefully wanted to talk through all of these questions before we got married. Plus, after you get engaged, all you think about is planning a wedding.
We heard how potentially stressful wedding planning could be. Instead of discussing important matters over designing invite cards at my parents house--we decided to intentionally talk about them in private before things got crazy. My advice to you is don't be afraid to ask the tough questions before you get engaged, and especially before you get married. After all, it's a pretty important decision--the rest of your life!
To learn more about Christian premarital questions, dating, and heartbreak--please check out these four books including two of mine:
- Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary L. Thomas
- The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller
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10. Does it matter what others think of your marriage?
11. Do you see your spouse as a separate entity? Why? Is that Biblical? How does it affect your marriage?
12. What does it mean to put your partner's needs above your own?
13. Why has God provided you with a partner? What ministry do you see him working through in your relationship?
14. Does it matter to you how marriage relates to Christ and His Bride?
15. What does it mean to become one flesh? How is this influencing you? Are you still independent? Have you had to give up anything? Does a husband and wife with parallel yet independent ministries matter? What does submission mean?
16. Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and that he is risen and reigning over this world and your life?
17. What things will most taint your sex life?
18. Is there anything you can't discuss with your partner? Do you think it's okay to have secrets in a marriage? E dating services in yonkers.
19. Looking at the face of two people in love, what tells you they are in love?
20. What does being married to Christ entail for you? In what ways are you falling short of this? How do you expect your spouse to help you in this? What if they don't or can't?
21. Do you think it is possible to progress in your relationship with Christ while your mate does not? Colton city dating sites.
22. Does a successful marriage or satisfying marriage top your list of desires in your marriage? What do you want your marriage to ultimately be?
Christian Dating Counseling
23. Do you believe your spouse's salvation depends on you? Define the Christian lifestyle you want your spouse to see in you.
24. What do you believe sex is intended to teach us in marriage?
25. What does it mean for the husband to be the head of the house?
26. How does being able to reconcile in a marriage affect ministry?
27. What distracts you from cleaving to your spouse?
28. How are you investing in the life of your partner?
29. How does Christian community affect marriage? What if it is wishy-washy, bland and fake? What if it is real? Can you distinguish between the two? Are you willing to change to accommodate in this area?
30. Can you say your mate sees the God of eternity in you? How so?
31. Is 'kinky' (inappropriate or impure) sex in marriage permissible? Why or why not?
32. What if you feel called to something but your partner does not?
33. What do you think will bring the greatest joy to your marriage?
34. Does compatibility matter? What does it mean to be compatible? Is your response in line with Scripture?
Marc and I purposefully wanted to talk through all of these questions before we got married. Plus, after you get engaged, all you think about is planning a wedding.
We heard how potentially stressful wedding planning could be. Instead of discussing important matters over designing invite cards at my parents house--we decided to intentionally talk about them in private before things got crazy. My advice to you is don't be afraid to ask the tough questions before you get engaged, and especially before you get married. After all, it's a pretty important decision--the rest of your life!
To learn more about Christian premarital questions, dating, and heartbreak--please check out these four books including two of mine:
- Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy by Gary L. Thomas
- The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller
Loves Me Not: Heartbreak & Healing God's Way is written specifically for relationship breakups & heartbreak.
'Loves Me Not is a book that not only I wish I had when I was single, but it's a book that I wish every single person would read.' - Brenda Rogers, author of Fall For Him: 25 Challenges From a Recovering Single
'This ebook is one of the many ways that Renee has encouraged young adults in their walk with Christ as they deal with the dating world. I love her authenticity and transparency and totally relate to her personal stories shared in this ebook.' - Sarah Francis Martin, author of Stress Point
'Renee Fisher addresses how to heal from breakups and broken relationships God's way. I admire Renee for how open and honest she is about the heartbreak she's experienced. Renee is an overcomer, and shares the lessons that God has taught her in a gracious, concise, and applicable manner. I highly recommend Loves Me Not.' - Tracy Steel, Author of Images of His Beauty
Family Life Christian Counseling
Not Another Dating Book: A Devotional Guide is a devotional guide on relationships for young adults.
'Solid advice for anyone trying to navigate the complicated (but wonderful) world of relationships' - Brett McCracken, Author of Hipster Christianity 'If you're single and not interested in another dating book, you need to read this book. It's real, it's relevant, it's fresh, and it speaks the truth to a deceived generation.' - Pete Wilson, author of Plan B
Christian Couples Counseling Books
'If you are confused by what to think about dating, about singleness, about waiting..then Renee will provide you with straight-talking, grace-giving wisdom. Rather than pointing you just towards a future spouse, Renee points you to the only place of true life--a daily, growing relationship with God.' - Nicole Unice, author of She's Got Issues